Many years ago, a few ‘young fellas’ asked me if I did not do RAP, as well as ‘ordinary’ poems. It took me a while, but here goes! A sort of rural, agricultural version. C-RAP Now I’ve bin known for quite some time,For writing lousy jokes in rhyme,But the kids…
At some time in his life, almost every man has a dream of being James Bond. Glamour, danger, excitement, fast cars, fancy weemin. . . . mine was mainly about spuds! This was the result of a drug-induced nightmare I had last winter. I had a bad cold, took a…
I wish to make it crystal clear that, unlike some others, this poem is definitely NOT true! It came second in the 2014 Bard competition, and is very loosely based on a certain book, (which I have not read, of course!), and a film. (which I have not seen, of…
The firm I worked for went ‘tits up’ when I was almost 60 years old, so my prospects of further employment looked bleak. However, I was lucky enough to get a job as a programmer in Belfast, with an American Insurance company, called Allstate. This meant a train journey each…
This was my first Bard of Armagh poem in 2001 on the subject of ‘Oul Farmers Lukin Fer Weemin’ which seemed to come up right and often as a topic for Bard poems. I’m livin’ all m’lone now, since m’ Ma and Da passed on,Just me an’ Shep beside the…
Bard of Armagh Winner 2010 I had a poem almost ready for 2010, but i was watching the news one night when a Royal visit came on – the Queen was being so ‘nice’ to everyone, and ‘Phil the Greek’ was wandering along behind, trying not to put his foot…
This poem was based on a famous poem that my father used to recite – ‘The Shooting of Dan McGrew’, by Robert Service. It is a tale of the Klondike Gold Rush of the 1890s – Dangerous Dan is sitting with his ‘light of love, the ‘lady that’s known as Lou’…
Bard of Armagh Winner 2006 Back in the day when I was young, and ‘at myself’ (NO, NO, NO – it is Armagh spake for ‘fit and well!!) entertainment was almost exclusively Showbands. You travelled for miles to some wee hall in the arsehole of nowhere, or some ‘carnival’ (usually…
I had a poem almost done for 2004, but the firm I worked for went out for Christmas Dinner at the end of 2003 – to a Chinese Restauant. I really enjoyed the meal, but the thought struck me as incongruous, and became my best poem to date. They say…